them

"Them" is a very common English pronoun with a couple of closely related uses. It refers to people or things that have already been mentioned, and it also has a modern use as a singular pronoun for a person whose gender is not specified or who identifies as non-binary.

1pronounreferring to a group

This is the most common use. When you have already mentioned a group of people or things, you use 'them' instead of repeating the full name. Think of it as the object form of 'they' — just like 'he' becomes 'him', 'they' becomes 'them' when it is the object of the sentence.

everyday language · Modern, widely used

I saw my friends at the park and waved at them.

The books were on the table, so I picked them up.

The children were hungry, so she made lunch for them.

2pronounreferring to one unknown person

When you are talking about a single person but you do not know their gender — or they have not told you — you can use 'them' instead of 'him' or 'her'. This has been used in English for centuries and is now very widely accepted.

everyday language · Modern, widely used

Someone left their bag here. Can you tell them to come back for it?

If a student needs help, ask them to raise their hand.

I got a message from the new employee, but I haven't met them yet.

3pronounsingular pronoun for a non-binary person

Some people identify as non-binary, meaning they do not identify as strictly male or female. These individuals may use 'they/them' as their personal pronouns. So when you talk about that specific person, you use 'them' the same way you would use 'him' or 'her'.

everyday language, social contexts · Modern, increasingly common

This is my colleague Alex. I work with them every day.

Jordan called earlier — can you call them back?

My friend told them the news and they were very happy.